Oh Amazon, may we sing your praises, and partake of thy cornucopia.


We praise thee, and thy Prime shipping. Praise!

On Aging

Today, I forgot how old I was. I was forced to go back to 1983, and count forwards to today to solve the mystery.

I miss when a birthday was a milestone rather than another reason to be grumpy at work.

I have been asked

I have been asked why I don't update more. After pondering this for about thirty seconds, I can safely say that it's for the same reason that Batman: Arkham Asylum is still in its shrinkwrap, my rent is reliably paid at 7AM on the 4th of every month, and I am still only halfway through Torchwood.

I'm a quitter. Deal.

PS: Smart Phones

My last post, on reflection, may have given the wrong impression about my phone(Moment) and androids in general(godly).

My phone has an actual keyboard. And I can plug it into my computer to form a sort of borg collective. Faster. Stronger. More efficient. Video capable.

Netflix capable.

My god, it's full of stars.

My phone: Smart, or dumb?

Three years ago, I didn't have a phone. And I didn't call anyone. Small town, who is there to call that you can't just go and talk to? Then, I decided small towns suck and I got in my car and GTFO.

Two and a half years ago, I had a trac phone. I put 20 dollars on it for my road trip across the US, and roaming charges tripled the cost of calls. I nursed it along for half a year by only using texts and not actually opening the answering texts- three free words ftw. For actual calls? I had a land line, and a 5 dollar answering machine(made in america! wtf!)

Two years ago, I succumbed to peer pressure from my boss, my friends, and I think maybe even just random strangers(you don't have a phone? wtf?!) and got a cell phone- the Ericson.

Free with a contract. Brass trim, about the same size and weight as a pack of gum. The world's shittiest camera. 450 texts a month and free weekends.

I was in love.

I took pictures of EVERYTHING and sent them to everyone I knew. I kept it free of nicks and scratches, charged at all times, and only put it down when I took a shower. I sent text after text consisting of one letter.

And then, 7 months ago, it died a quiet death. Probably the speakers- I could still text, but I wasn't willing to go back to what I'd been content with before. Hell. Let's succumb to peer pressure again and get an iphone. I mean, at 21 months I must be eligible for an upgrade, right?

Right?

:(

Switched to Sprint. Went Droid. Loved it. Went full data. Fuck weekend minutes, fuck 450 texts a month. Fuck ATT. Faster phone coming out? GET IT GET IT NOW OMG WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S FEBRUARY INSTEAD OF DECEMBER UPGRADE.

Three years ago, I spent an hour deciding whether I should spend 20 or 30 dollars for emergencies and job search while driving cross country. Today, I am pondering a minimum 500$ purchase which would cost me 75$ a month for the foreseeable future.

For a phone.

I think I was smarter then.

Cruise Ship Fail

Massive fail aboard a cruise ship right now. Even more massive fail from CNN- you see, without hot water for two days, the cruise ship has become stinky, therefore CRUISE SHIPS WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN.

You'd think this smelly boat had a death toll attached to it, from how solemn the talking heads are about this. Mind you, the toilets flush, there is running (cold) water, but the stinky fridges? Yeah. It'll be the Mary Celeste in 12 hours when it docks. Spoiled lettuce will have driven everyone into the ocean.

Man. And I thought it was bad yesterday when they were implying that taking a bus home through Mexico IS GOING TO KILL YOU, GRANDMA, YOUR KIDS, AND YOUR DOG.

New Vegas Patch!

Fallout: New Vegas has patched! HUZZAH~! No more... well, less... eaten save games. And freezes. And crashes.

Now, if only Civ 5 would get off their asses and fix their memory leak of a game, my life would be complete.

Also: Pony.